Guides for Christian singles
Christian Dating Rules: Boundaries That Help Love Grow
What scripture asks of us, where Christians differ, and how to agree your own boundaries early.
Freedom with a shape to it
There is no single list of Christian dating rules in the Bible. Dating as we know it did not exist when scripture was written. What the Bible does give is a set of principles: treat each other with honour, keep sex for marriage, look for a partner who shares your faith, and let love be patient and kind. Couples build their own boundaries from those.
That is less tidy than a rulebook, but more freeing. Two people who pray and talk honestly can find a way of dating that fits their convictions and their stage of life, and two faithful couples may land in different places.
What the Bible asks of a dating couple
These are the passages Christians come back to most when they think about dating.
Love that is patient and kind
"Love is patient, love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4, NIV). Paul goes on to say that love does not dishonour others and is not self-seeking (see 1 Corinthians 13:4-7). That is a good test for any date: am I putting this person's good ahead of what I want? Our piece on 1 Corinthians 13 and real love looks at the passage more closely.
Honour and purity
Paul writes that each of us should "learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honourable" (1 Thessalonians 4:4, NIV). In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 he tells believers to flee sexual immorality, because the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Romans 12:10 adds a simple instruction for every friendship: "Honour one another above yourselves" (NIV).
Sharing the same faith
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14, NIV) is the verse most often quoted about dating someone who is not a Christian. Many read it as a clear reason to date only believers. Others say Paul was not writing about marriage directly, while still agreeing that a shared faith makes for a stronger home. Our article can I date and stay true to my faith goes further into this.
Boundaries that keep you both at peace
Christian dating boundaries are not about suspicion. They are a gift you give each other, so neither of you has to make a hard decision in a weak moment.
Sex before marriage
Most churches teach that sex belongs in marriage. Some Christians, and some churches, see it differently, and you will meet people who have come to faith with a past. Grace covers that. What matters is what you both decide now. If waiting is your conviction, our guide to staying celibate when you start dating is practical and kind.
Kissing: where Christians differ
This is the question people ask most, and faithful Christians disagree. Some save their first kiss for the wedding day. Many see a kiss as a natural, good sign of affection once a relationship is serious, as long as it does not lead further than they intend. Others are comfortable with a kiss from early on. Song of Songs 2:7 is often quoted here: "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" (NIV). Whatever you choose, choose it together, and choose it before the moment arrives.
Time alone
Long evenings alone at one person's home are where good intentions get tested. Plenty of couples spend most of their time in public, with friends or at church, and say goodnight at the door. That is not prudishness. It is wisdom.
Five habits of couples who date well
- Talk about boundaries on purpose, early, and not in the middle of a moment.
- Pray together, even briefly. It changes the way you treat each other.
- Take it slowly. Getting to know each other's character takes seasons, not weeks.
- Give one trusted friend or couple permission to ask how it is really going.
- Bring your date into your church family, so you see each other among people who know you.
The same respect, for women and men
People often search for Christian dating rules for women or for men, as if there were two rulebooks. The principles are the same for both: honesty, kindness, purity, and treating the other person as a brother or sister in Christ first. Traditions differ on who asks whom out and who leads. Our Christian dating advice for men covers being clear and kind without being controlling.
One rule holds for everyone: a boundary the other person sets is never something to argue down. If someone pushes past your limits, that tells you what you need to know. Our safety page explains how to block and report anyone who makes you uneasy.
Let your church family walk with you
Dating was never meant to be a private project. Friends who pray for you, a minister you trust, an older married couple: they will spot what you miss and cheer you on. When it gets serious, introduce your date to them.
Christian Love is for Christian singles, so these conversations come naturally. Daily matches take beliefs and moral values into account, which means the person reading your profile is likely to care about the same things you do. For more on dating well, browse our guides for Christian singles.
Your questions about Christian dating rules
Is kissing allowed in Christian dating?
The Bible does not forbid kissing, and Christians differ on it. Some wait until their wedding, many kiss once a relationship is serious, and some are comfortable sooner. Agree it together, before the moment, and keep it from leading further than you mean it to.
What are the Christian dating rules before marriage?
Most churches teach that sex belongs in marriage, drawing on passages such as 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 and 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. Beyond that, couples set their own boundaries on time alone and physical affection, ideally with the support of their church.
Can a Christian date someone who is not a Christian?
Christians disagree. Many take 2 Corinthians 6:14 as a reason to date only believers; others read it more broadly. Pray about it and talk to your own church.
How fast should a Christian relationship move?
There is no set timetable. Take long enough to see each other's character in different seasons, among friends and church family, and to talk honestly about faith, marriage and children before making promises.
Date with someone who shares your convictions
Meet Christian singles aged 18 or over, and build a relationship on faith, honour and kindness.
Join now