Song of Songs
A poem that celebrates romantic love without embarrassment, with a refrain about timing: "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" (Song of Songs 2:7, NIV). Many read it as a call to let love grow at its own pace.
The Bible and love
Corinthians: Cliché or the Clue to True Love?
The most famous words about love, read as a guide for Christian dating.
More than a wedding reading
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 was not first written about romance. Paul wrote it to a church that was quarrelling, and that is exactly why it works for dating. It describes love as a way of behaving: patient, kind, honest and steady. That gives every Christian single a practical test for a new relationship, long before anyone chooses a wedding reading.
In recent years, 1 Corinthians 13 has become one of the most popular readings couples choose for their wedding. But for a single Christian looking for love it also holds many answers about what God expects of love. In fact, it is a wonderful starting point for understanding the rules of Christian dating.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV, 1984 edition)
Beautiful, isn't it? Many Christians read in these words a quiet reassurance that God cares about how we love, and who we love.
You don't need to date everyone to find the right one
You do not need to date a lot of people to find the one. You just need to find the right person. Christians hold different views on "the one": some believe God has a particular person in mind for each of us, others that God gives us freedom to choose wisely within His will. Either way, this passage shows what the right person looks like in practice.
Then, when you think the search is over, you can check your new relationship against the values in 1 Corinthians. Are you patient and kind to one another? Are you envious of one another? Do you boast about one another, or to each other?
What each quality of love looks like on a date
Here is the passage taken phrase by phrase, with the moments in dating where it matters most.
| Love is... | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Patient | Not pressing for a reply, a label or a kiss before the other person is ready. |
| Kind | How they treat the waiter, the bus driver and you when you are late. |
| Does not envy | Being glad about their friends, their past and their time apart from you. |
| Does not boast, is not proud | An honest profile, and being able to say sorry on the third date. |
| Is not rude | Respecting their boundaries, their family and their church. |
| Not self-seeking | Planning dates you will both enjoy, not just the ones you like. |
| Not easily angered | A missed train or a mix-up over plans ends in a laugh, not a row. |
| Keeps no record of wrongs | Forgiving small hurts without keeping score. |
| Rejoices with the truth | Being honest early about divorce, children or debts. |
| Protects | Getting each other home safely, and guarding each other's reputation. |
| Trusts, hopes, perseveres | Staying steady when the first spark settles into something quieter. |
One caution: "keeps no record of wrongs" is about forgiveness, not ignoring warning signs. Love "rejoices with the truth", and the truth includes noticing when something is wrong. Our post on the signs to watch out for and our safety page explain what to look out for.
More of scripture
Other Bible passages Christians turn to in love
Corinthians is not the only place scripture speaks to couples.
Ruth
Ruth's promise, "Where you go I will go" (Ruth 1:16, NIV), was spoken to her mother-in-law, not a husband, yet it is loved at weddings because it sounds like faithful love. Her story with Boaz is one of kindness, respect and patience.
Ephesians 5
Paul calls husbands to love their wives "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25, NIV). Christians read the wider passage on roles in marriage in different ways, and it is worth exploring with your church.
Colossians 3:14
"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity" (NIV). Love is what holds the other good things together.
Towards choosing your own wedding reading
If your relationship meets these expectations, you could be well on your way to choosing your own wedding reading before long. Until then, let the passage shape the small things: the first message, the first date, the way you talk about waiting until marriage. Love that is patient and kind in those moments is the kind that lasts.
If you are still wondering whether dating fits with faith at all, read can I date and be true to my faith?
Questions about the Bible and dating
What does the Bible say about dating?
The Bible never mentions dating, because the custom did not exist. It gives principles instead: guard your heart, be honest, treat others with love and purity, and seek a partner who shares your faith.
Is 1 Corinthians 13 about romantic love?
Not first. Paul wrote it about love within the church. But it describes love at its truest, so it applies to marriage and dating as much as to friendship and church life.
Which Bible translation is "love is patient, love is kind" from?
That wording is the NIV. Older translations such as the King James Version use "charity" for love and read "Charity suffereth long, and is kind".
Should Christians wait for "the one"?
Christians differ. Some believe God has one person for each of us; others believe we choose wisely within His will. Both agree on praying, being patient and looking for the love Corinthians describes.